When you watch a film like Star Wars or Lord of the Rings you need a certain suspension of disbelief in order to enjoy the show and that is completely fine and natural. The same concept holds true when you order something from a fast food establishment. You know that somewhere in between the mounds of grease, mystery ingredients, and caloric bombshells you are going to pay for what you’ve done. If you want to avoid gastric bypass surgery in the future then skip eating at these palces altogether. But if you have to eat there then you should know a few facts.Staff members more than anyone realize the lurking ‘ugh’ in every menu item and they’ve come together to tell you: avoid these 14 menu items!
Movie Theater Popcorn
Movie theater popcorn is a sin that is priced as a luxury item. The fluffy kernels, when freshly popped, melt in your mouth along with the cup of butter you just had to toss on top. While a ‘small’ bag of this popcorn will likely cost you an arm and a leg, as well as the functional usage of your arteries, if you order it later in the day then you’ll be fine. What you shouldn’t do, we’ve been told, is be the first one’s in the theater to order popcorn. The first showing just re-uses last nights popcorn which just happened to be stored in garbage bags overnight. Nasty. For those concerned about their health, let’s just put it this way: no weight loss diet or weight loss plan ever included popcorn. We aren’t sure how many people actually go to the ‘first showing’ of the day, but if you are a morning movie person then you’ve been warned.
Convenience Store Slurpees
“Big Gulps huh? Well, alright!” should be the closest you get to actually smiling when referencing a gas station Slurpee. Though these sugar bombs taste like heaven they are, in fact, hiding a secret hell. If you thought that the McDonald’s McCafe machine secret was terrifying, just imagine that problem compounded by a factor of 10. Gas station Slurpees are notorious for coming out of machines that would make even Eli Roth sick to his stomach. Any liquid that goes through the machine has to make its way through pathways of nothing but moldy metal. You’ve been warned but we know you’ll still hit up your 7/11 anyway. We guess it can’t be helped.
We’ve probably all fallen in love with a Wendy’s Frosty in our time. The commercials are perfect and the red headed spokeswoman sure is fine to look at. However, there is a lurking danger hidden in plain sight on the Wendy’s fast food menu: the cup of chili. Now we tend to be averse to just about any fast food that could be described as a ‘cup of meat’ and it appears that this mindset is for our benefit. Staff members say that the chili at Wendy’s is just left over meat that has dried up on the grill. It’s warmed up and thrown into a cup of sauce. Bluck.
The McDonalds McCafe
While McDonalds probably started out as something pure and beautiful –I mean, affordable hamburgers!—what they’ve turned into is something that is most decidedly not. In fact one McDonalds employee makes sure to warn anyone that matters to him to avoid the McCafe machine in its entirety. Staff members say that the employees are not appropriately trained on how to handle the complex machinery and that cleaning duties are neglected almost completely. Every beverage you pull from the machine has to make its way through inches of uncleaned sludge before entering your cup. You can go vomit now, we’ll wait.
Taco Bell Beans
Rather than point at a specific menu item we are going to look at an ingredient found in many common Taco Bell dishes: the beans. Taco Bell staff make it known to avoid any dish containing the beans, which becomes pretty hard when you are ordering from a supposed Mexican restaurant. Employees say that the beans come from a rehydrated mix and that, over time, they start to congeal into the consistency of hair gel. Now just imagine a big mouthful of that sitting in your stomach. Sour cream is a miracle ingredient, we’re sure, but not even a glob of that could save these dishes for us. Pass.
McDonalds Chicken McNuggets
Now as a rule we are leery of any food that has the prefix of ‘Mc’ in front of it. That’s not a good sign for a high quality product. Yet somehow, for years, we’ve fooled ourselves into think that the Chicken McNuggets at McDonalds were okay. They aren’t, not how they are served in the restaurant anyway. Employees say that the McNuggets end up cooked and sitting under a heat lamp until someone orders them. The lamp has a timer that supposes when the food should be tossed, but it is routinely reset by busy employees. If you have to have some nuggets then you should request them fresh.
Taco Johns Beans
For the Taco Johns fans who were gloating over our disparaging remarks about Taco Bell, quit smiling. Though Taco Johns isn’t nearly as gross from a sanitation standpoint, in fact they are actually quite clean, their beans still come up as less than impressive. The beans in the restaurant are made to sit underneath a hot lamp until someone actually orders them. If they ever actually dry out the employees are told to just add water and stir them around. Who knows how many times this will happen before they get to your plate.
KFC BBQ Chicken
Pulled chicken in a BBQ sauce with a crunchy KFC bun sounds just about the perfect cheat meal we could think of. However, you would be wise to avoid the tasty sounding meal completely. As it turns out KFC doesn’t have the best quality control standards when it comes to how their chicken is handled. For the BBQ sandwich employees are told to only use chicken that is too old and stale to give away. So the stale, crusty chicken is soaked in BBQ sauce and heated through. Yuck.
Ball Park Hot Dogs
It may sound sacrilegious but the next time you go to the ballpark you might want to skip grabbing a hot dog. Though Ball Park Franks are supposedly right next to Apple Pie as the Great American Junk Food the truth is that they are unimaginably bad for you and probably spoiled before getting into your greasy hands. At baseball concession stands the hot dogs are cooked and then sat into hot water until someone buys them. If nobody buys them they are thrown into the fridge and then reheated the next day. The seedier the owner, the longer this is repeated. So if you have to have a dog make sure the stand is booming and the hot dog goes from the grill to your plate with only a quick stop to load up on accessories.
Getting seafood in the Midwest is already a pretty dicey situation, but getting some out of a tray in some probably poorly run Subway – disastrous. One former employee points out that their seafood used to come packaged with a warning label that read: “Does not contain dolphin or turtles in the meat”. Then in 2012 that label simply vanished. Does that mean you are eating a helping of one of the planets smartest animals? Probably not. But maybe, and do you really wanna risk eating Echo the Dolphin? That’s on you.
Little Caesars Hot N’ Ready
When you can order a large pizza, with whatever topping you want, for $5 and it’s ready as soon as you hand over cash you have to start thinking something is up. As it turns out, something is up regarding America’s favorite cheap pizza. Every Hot N’ Ready or order of Crazy Bread is served slathered in a dressing that isn’t quite butter and probably twice as unhealthy. The unButter, if you will, doesn’t need to be refrigerated and isn’t clearly labeled. We know pizza is bad for you, but this is just ridiculous. Pay the extra cash and get a decent pie somewhere else.
McDonalds Sweet Tea
Okay, we all know that sugar is pretty bad for us in general. It feeds into different diseases, causes obesity, and can even feed cancer cells. Sugar has gradually found its way into just about everything you eat and, in moderation, you’re probably going to be fine. However, the Sweet Tea at McDonalds has simply gone too far. The ever popular drink has an entire pound of sugar per gallon of the drink. Let me repeat that: an entire pound. Skip the Sweet Tea and opt for water. Actually, the machines are gross there. Just don’t drink anything. The food is also pretty terrible for you, too. Wait, why are we even in McDonalds?
McDonalds Grilled Chicken
Ronald McDonald is taking a beating on our list but it is for good reason. Many times people will try and ‘eat healthy’ to follow their weight loss program at McDonalds by opting for the grilled chicken. As it turns out, the grilled chicken is just a heart attack waiting to happen. In order to keep the chicken from sticking to the grill employees are often told to just spray and slather it with margarine, thus effectively ruining any healthy benefits. This is why we can’t have nice things, McDonalds.
Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust
Now there is nothing wrong with wanting a little more bang for your buck, but Pizza Hut has taken this as far to the extreme as humanely possible (and then some). The Pizza Hut Stuffed Crust pies have been making the rounds for years now but if you value your health then you had better avoid them. Each slice of the Stuffed Crust pizza has an entire mozzarella stick in it. That means for a regular cut medium pizza you will also be eating eight entire mozzarella sticks. Spare your arteries the issues and thank us later.